Body Odor

This week has been an interesting one for body odors. Last Christmas, my mother gave me a 4 little bottle set of different perfumes. I've been wearing the same perfume for like 5 years. Literally the same perfume. As in, the bottle never seems to empty. I was really ready for a change. The one I wore all winter was called wood sage. It smelled lovely, like foresty and wood smoky. But when summer came along, I thought I would try another little bottle. This one is citrusy and limey. Perfect I thought. And I really don't wear a lot. But I love a little. Since Don has been out of town all week on a business road trip, I've done a little perfume after my bath. I don't usually do it but it makes me feel better and goodness knows, I need the feel better when I am here by myself. In the night on Monday, I sweated so badly that when I woke up, my bed had this weird, funky smell of perfume and sweat. Not good. Tuesday, I wore one of my favorite tops this summer -- a bright, cheerful top that has a swimsuit feel. And I was sure, yes sure, that I wore deodorant that morning. But by ten AM, even I could smell the body stink. I went to the bathroom, doused myself with baby powder and pressed on. Now I smelled like sweaty, stinky baby. Worse. It didn't help that I worked pretty late on Tuesday trying to get ahead on my work so that I can leave next week with everything done. I went around the block when I got home and I just have to say, it has been a long, long time, -- like 10th grade basketball -- since I smelled that badly. Wednesday is milk day and it is frigging hot inside that trailer. I threw out my deodorant, borrowed Cole's antiperspirant and went to work. I am sure my armpits smelled better but halfway through, I am thinking, did I brush my teeth after lunch? Do I have any gum? Nope. And I can't really remember the last time I flossed? Got to get back to flossing and I desperately need to get some mouthwash at CVS next time I go. Today, Thursday, was the end.. I feel certain that my feet smell, my butt smells, everything smells. I decide to do a massive cleanup of this super sweaty body. I clean my teeth. Floss. Rinse with the ant cavity mouthwash. Clean my teeth again. Bathe. In a really massive amount of water that I almost overran the bathtub into the floor. I had no idea how great those overflow vents are in the bathtub but this one really saved me a massive cleanup of the floor! But even after my bath this evening, I can still smell the antiperspirant which is why I typically stick with deodorant. At least it is my favorite -- WolfThorne by Old Spice. I really worried about this. I really, really don't like body odor. Witness the fact I only wear a tiny amount of perfume. I'm probably the only one who smells it! I am trying to remember when odors became so important to me. I remember as a teen changing my sheets a lot. Spraying Jean Nate on the sheets before I put the comforter back on. I really like crawling into clean, good smelling sheets. So much so that for years I searched for a washing powder that had faint lemony smell to it. I just realized that I should have used Tide and sprayed the linens with a lemon perfume! I also remember having to unroll my brother's nasty football clothes and wash them. Why he wasn't required to do it is beyond me but there you have it. If you were on wash duty -- and as far I as can tell only Debbie and I had wash duty -- you had to unpack the gym bags. Gross, gross, gross. * It was so bad that I required Matthew to bring a clean tee shirt and compression shorts to football practice every day. He had to bring home his pads every week so I could wipe them down and set them in the sun. They still smelled but nothing like the Alfred smell. He complied because of the strep problems he had but I was far more interested in controlling the stench. * I remember the first guy I lived with -- Greg -- who really sweated a lot. And had lots of body hair. And tasted of milk. And he ended up being a real pain in the ass which is why I don't like body hair and probably has a lot to do with my aversion to sweat and bad breath. Actually, that is probably giving him way too much power but I'm sure he figures in there somewhere. * I still have issues with boy sweat. I washed their pillows with bleach and let them dry in the sun as soon as summer started and then I try to do one more wash before summer vanished. I don't know if I'll get to do that again since Matthew has moved out and will be responsible for his own pillow stench and Cole seems to want to stay in Milledgeville as much as he can. He probably won't be bringing pillows home on the spare days he allows us. But at least I don't walk into their bedrooms and smell stale boy smell. * So is this where my weirdness this week arose from? I didn't have boy sweat to deal with, Don sweat to deal with so I created my own? It is an interesting dilemma but the truth is, whatever the reason, I don't want a repeat. * I'm changing up my underarm routine, shampooing my hair every day regardless of frizz, and flossing twice a day. Perfume will be de rigueur. Oh, and I will be purchasing mouthwash and gum.